If there is one thing I’m good at, it is examining my own feelings. I usually do that when I spend time daydreaming. I’m pretty busy with practical stuff most of the time, but I do give myself time to sit and think – and, I guess, feel.
When I was a young girl and even into mid-life, I was good at sharing my feelings with my girlfriends and partner. As I have passed mid-life and am into my last quarter, I have become quieter about my own feelings and I listen more to others. You can learn a lot by listening. I don’t share a lot with anyone now except my partner. There are a couple of very long-term friends and we share our lives with each other, but not always our feelings.
My feelings about many subjects are complex and multilayered perhaps because as you age, you also gain wisdom. I’m surely not making myself an example of a wise sage or something similar, but I am more able to see different viewpoints and the complexities of situations more easily now than in the past. However, these days, I’m more likely to withdraw than discuss feelings, particularly my own.
My feelings about almost everything feel more private to me than ever before. I don’t know why that happens as you age, but it has to me. Maybe it’s because I know that everyone has their own set of problems and mine are no more or no less important than theirs. Maybe it’s because I realize that most people are just not that interested in knowing me, or any other person, that well. Maybe it’s a trust issue because by the time you approach older adulthood, you know who you can trust and who you can’t. Quite possibly, it’s all of the above.
The people who see me a lot know that I’m different now. I’m not as forthcoming or as open. I hope they realize that it is not due to a problem with them. Instead, it’s how to I seem to be approaching this last quarter of my life.
Yes, blogging is good for me!
The Write Scribe 