Posted in Appalachia, Non-fiction

Appalachian Culture: Quilting

Quilting is an old Appalachian tradition that arose in the Appalachian Mountains out of necessity. The region was, and still is, quite geographically isolated. When there is little business in an area, the people have to become more self-sufficient. Self-sufficiency is one of the characteristics that define the Appalachian region and people.

Quilting has a rich cultural heritage in many countries and among varied ethnicities.

Since the maternal side of my own family came from Appalachia, I’m part of that quilting culture although I don’t quilt myself. The women of that region quilted in order to have warm bed clothing for their families. Since families tended to be large, most required a lot of quilts. There weren’t many “store-bought” bed clothes to be found.

My maternal grandmother, and the women who came before her, all quilted. She had six girl children, all of whom were educated and most worked outside the home teaching school. My oldest aunt is the only one of the children who quilted.

Each quilt is as unique as the quilter who made it. The quilting traditions came from the Scots, Irish and German immigrants, but it also had touches of the influence of the Amish, the Quakers, and the Native Americans.

Some of the early quilts, in particular, were made from old feed sacks. Other materials used were pieces cut from old clothing. I have a plethora of handmade quilts I inherited from my grandmother and aunts. The oldest one has a top layer made of pieces of colorful feed sacks and the stuffing is just cotton batting, which bunches up terribly. That quilt was just as warm as any other and I still use it in my bedrooms.

The tops of quilts sometimes told a story, often of family history. There were also popular patterns that were used along with variations on those popular patterns. Many, perhaps most, of the American quilts have geometric designs which came from the Native American culture. African quilts are different and each tells a story, often of a tribe’s heritage. Many European quilts are patchwork quilts. All are usually colorful. All you have to do is an internet search and you will happen upon endless quilting patterns.

Quilting is also a communal activity with quilting bees and quilting circles held in communities. Not only did the quilts tell a story, but it was an opportunity for the women in the community to get together and chat. That is still true in many areas of Appalachia.

In the modern day, quilting has become very popular. There are quilting classes and quilting shows available if you are interested in learning the art of quilting. It is an artistic endeavor, along with practicality, just as much as painting a picture if you had a canvas and a paintbrush. Quilting can also, now, be done on a machine, but somehow the tradition is lost if you machine quilt. Hand stitching is the old, and valued, way.

Posted in #weekendcoffeeshare, nonfiction

#weekendcoffeeshare #167

Welcome to my #weekendcoffeeshare #167! Please join us and pour yourself a cup of coffee or tea. There are lots of varieties on the bar.

If we were having coffee, the first thing I would share with you is that I have revamped my contact page. If any of you would like to contact me, please feel free. Just click on the link!

It’s been a busy week, both on the blog and in other parts of my life! Summer has begun here in Kentucky, U.S.A! The temperatures are heating up and the vegetation here in Daniel Boone National Forest, where I live, is lush. We had so much rain in the spring that the forest responded and the vegetation is especially lush this year. It’s like living in the rain forest!

Early in the week, my husband was doing some yard work and came across a timber rattlesnake. He was far enough away from it so it couldn’t strike, but it tried. They are quite poisonous. He took care of that problem. Here is an image of a timber rattler in case you need to know.

Timber Rattlesnake

If you see one of these guys, be calm, back away slowly, and either leave it alone or end its life as this snake is very poisonous. It’s also very common in this part of the U.S.

This week, we also attended a Celebration of Life for a friend who just passed away. She was one of my best friends and it’s been a sad time. We met when we were 6 years old and have stayed close our entire lives. I will miss her always. The Celebration of her Life was so nice with a huge turnout. It was nice because I got to see a lot of friends who I seldom see. Carol would have enjoyed it.

The cupboard was bare here at the beginning of the week so we made a trip to a couple of places we shop for groceries. One place was the local vegetable market, only open in the warm months. They have wonderful fresh vegetables and fruit. Since we try to eat healthy, we frequent this old-fashioned market often.

Fannin’s Vegetable Market, West Liberty, KY, USA

We’ve had good and healthy food to eat this week!

I’ve spent a lot of time with my two dogs this week, engaging in some dog training. Sophie, my German Shepherd dog, is already trained in obedience and protection, so I spent some time teaching her to play fly ball, which she loves. The next task is to teach her to play frisbee! Sophie likes to play fly ball with her squeaky chicken!

Sophie and her squeaky chicken

Hazel, a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, is my other dog. She will be two years old soon, but she got a rocky start in life. We rescued her and she has some health challenges, so she is a little behind the curve. We love her and have to protect her from too much activity. I’ve started taking her on short walks, getting a bit longer each day. She loves her walks!

Hazel

We went out to dinner this week which we don’t often do. There is a wonderful restaurant in a little town about 40 miles away that is right on the Ohio River. We had dinner with our friends there and we really enjoyed seeing them.


If we were having coffee today, I would very much enjoy seeing you and sharing my week!I look forward to reading your #weekendcoffeeshare.

Thank you to Natalie the Explorer for hosting #weekendcoffeeshare!

Posted in Flash Fiction

Day 9 – Pairs

For many years, they were friends. In some ways, they seemed an unlikely pair. She was married. He was single. There was nothing romantic about their relationship, although no one ever believed that. They met in graduate school and found friendship through studying together. They stayed together through two degree programs and helped each other every step of the way.

Others viewed their friendship with curiosity. He was abrasive, arrogant, and difficult to be around. She was friendlier with a touch of arrogance. People liked her more than they did him. She had a wide circle of friends and he did not. When she tried to include him in her circle, most of her friends found him difficult and unlikeable. She never understood this because she liked him, understood him. She had the ability to be with normal people despite her intelligence. His intelligence shined and intimidated others.

What she enjoyed most about him was their conversations about every topic under the sun. Long, philosophical conversations. He had strengths in some areas and she in other areas. They complimented each other and learned from each other. He filled an intellectual hole in her life. Somehow, these long conversations never included politics. Not in the early and middle years of their friendship. As she looks back, she wonders how they avoided it. She decides they were too busy learning their respective fields to be concerned with political matters. That was then.

Gradually, their friendship extended beyond the academic and philosophical and they met each other’s families. They helped each other with personal matters. Their entire lives became intertwined. There was still no romantic relationship. Not even when she divorced. They truly just had a good friendship.

By now, 25 or 30 years had passed. They had grown old as good friends, this unlikely pair. The world was changing around them and the U.S. had become politically polarized. Politics began to creep into their conversations. Until now, they’d had only a basic awareness of each other’s political leanings. Just enough to know that they leaned in different directions, but that had never mattered. Until now.

Suddenly, everything in the U.S. was defined by whether it was right or left, red or blue, conservative or liberal. There was no middle ground anymore. Their conversations were increasingly couched in politics. Their political positions couldn’t have been more different. Over the space of several years, she found it difficult to talk to him knowing his political position. It was like he was suddenly from another world. A world she wasn’t familiar with. A world of hatred and exclusion. He found it difficult to talk to her since he did not enjoy knowing anyone who had the political beliefs she had.

Their communication became less often and more tense. One evening, he blasted her with political rhetoric that made her feel like he kept in touch with her out of obligation only. That he didn’t really enjoy it since she believed so differently than he did. She felt like his political leanings were monstrous. She couldn’t hear them anymore.

She didn’t have it in her to be mean to him. Life had become too stressful in the politically charged atmosphere of the U.S. society. She had to get away from his rhetoric.

Through tears, she made a decision. She quit answering the phone. She finally had to save herself.

 

Posted in Challenges

#weeklysmile #81

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Some weeks it’s easy to find something to smile about and this is one of those weeks. I’m smiling about my awesome friends! You know who you are! Not so long ago, I wrote a post on friendship, although I talked mostly about the different types of friends most of us have. This week, I’m talking about my closest friends and other friends who step up to the plate and befriend you when you least expect it – and all of you know who you are!

For a couple of reasons, I’ve had to call on these friends this week and, of course, they have come through for me. I feel very lucky to have these extraordinary people in my life. I hope each and every one of them know it.

There is a point I want to address that I didn’t address in my previous post on friendship. I will only mention it here and may use the topic as material for a later post. Men and women, dear readers, can indeed be friends. Friends and nothing more. Possibly because of my career choice in the past, I have always tended to have more male friends than female friends. Both are very special to me. One of my male friends has been my friend, and a close friend, for more than 35 years. I suppose we’re a little like siblings. There are many people in the world that dispute the fact that men and women can be “only” friends. They would be wrong.

So that big smile you see on my face? That smile is because I have awesome friends. Male and female.

Posted in Challenges

#SoCS – 05/06/2017

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I have friendship on my mind today as I have recently made some new friends, revived some old and cherished friendships, and continued some very valued friendships. I’ve also lost some friends. You also never know, until it’s usually too late, when you’re dealing with fake friends.

Friendship is one of the most fulfilling interactions one can have. I feel that friendship is just as important as love or marital relationships. When I decided to live a portion of each year in Florida, I worried about losing friends here in Kentucky. I could only hope that my Kentucky friends would put up with my months’ long absences. I knew that true friends would. I have some old, cherished friends in the Kentucky and Tennessee area. I’ve also been able to revive two important friendships recently. I’m thrilled that both were able to be revived as the two pjeople with whom I’m friends were and are very important to me.

I’ve also lost two friendships. I’m sad about both, but I feel that there were perhaps reasons that the loss of these friendships happened and perhaps it was for the best. Sometimes, people just aren’t meant to be close.

It seems as we get older, we don’t see our friends as much. I know I don’t. Why? In my case, life is too busy and I’m too tired. By the time I finish with each day, I am ready to fall into bed! There are some days I have time and energy to see friends but not every day. I’m still working part-time and taking care of a house. I’m writing a book which is a massive job. Don’t you wonder how we ever had time to work full time? I know I do. I would like to spend time with each and every friend every week, but that is not to be.

I tend to make long-lasting friendships. Friendships that last a lifetime. I don’t boast hundreds of friends. I think if you have a handful of real friends in your entire life, you have been very lucky indeed.

I’ve discovered that it’s difficult to make friends at my stage in life. As you get older, I think you are less open to friendship, probably more suspicious and less accepting. In my new home in Florida, I’ve met really nice people and am starting to make friends. I’m really happy about that.

Do you ever consider the concept of fake friends? People who say they are friends but they are not. People who pretend to be friends but are anything but. People who just want to mine you for information for their gossip and they are not friends at all. Watch out for these people.

I’m thankful for all my friends. My  friends who I’ve had for a lifetime. New friends I’m just starting to get to know. There is one thing about friendship. You have to cultivate it and then shelter it and take care of it like a carefully tended plant if you want it to be successful.

Friendship, to me, is one of the most fulfilling of all relationships.

Posted in weekendcoffeeshare

#weekendcoffeeshare 9/24/2016

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My friend, Jenn, with whom I normally have coffee on Saturday, is still out of town today. So I’d like to have coffee with you, my friends, as I did last week. I can offer you Apricot blended black tea or the coffee of your choice, chicory or regular.

If we were having coffee, I would ask you to be patient with me while I tell you that a disturbing week last week has continued into a disturbing week this week, although for different reasons. I have lost a very important friendship. I surely can’t call this a highlight of the week though it has been the most of what has been on my mind. I guess it has been the lowlight. My friend was here one day and literally gone the next which causes a bit of a feeling of a panic. No sympathy needed, but thank you. It may be for the best. Whether the friendship was a good or bad thing, it is a blow whatever the case.

People can be quite cruel to one another, even those they call friends. Some people don’t seem to be able to just talk straight to their friends. That was the case here. Instead of just telling me that the friendship wasn’t working, my former friend set up this rather elaborate ruse. Though knowing my friend, and already having picked up on clues, I was able to see through the ruse quite easily once the shock wore off. It’s a hurtful world out there. Be careful who you trust.

The good news is that, in hard times, you learn who your real friends are. I had wonderful friends step to my side and I appreciate them so much.

Some good news this week has to do with my writing career. I’ve been a writer for over 15 years. Actually longer than that, but during my career as a professor, I did mostly academic writing. Then, I had a stint where I wrote only in my field of finance for a number of different outlets. Now, my writing career has morphed into an interest in fiction. I have been able to put together the first draft of a book proposal this week that I’m excited about. It will be published by Amazon.com, hopefully by the end of about two months from now. I’ll keep you up to date on my progress!

There is always something that is right around the corner when you are a homeowner. Some cracks in tile led to an investigation under the house and it seems that improper floor supports may have been used in the construction of my home. Right in the middle of my home so tile is cracking and so is the drywall in that part of the house. I’m going to have to hire a crew to come in and repair both the damage to the inside of the house and shore up the floor supports. It’s always something in the Adventures of Homeownership.

We are now past the fall equinox and summer continues to hang on in my part of the world. We’ve had many 90 degree days this year, more than any time in recent memory. Accompanied by high humidity. High humidity is not my favorite weather condition. I like to walk my little dog daily and she and I both wilt a little in high humidity. Betsy, in fact, wilts a lot. We will be happy when cooler fall days arrive. That weather is usually here by this time of year. Not this year. I live in a deciduous forest and there is no sign of the trees even starting to change color yet although other plants, such as the perennials in my garden, seem to realize that the time to go to sleep is near. You would never know it by walking outdoors or looking at the forest.

The deer do seem to have lost the velvet on their antlers. They aren’t as plentiful at the feeding troughs as they were earlier in the summer since the babies are growing up. Soon, they will vanish entirely for awhile only to return as winter comes.

I was lucky enough this week to get to see and spend some time in the city with my girlfriend. We spent an afternoon shopping, which is always fun. Retail therapy is some of the best, don’t you think? She was amazingly restrained and I was not! Then, we went to dinner at a favorite restaurant and met another friend. Even though the week had a tough start, I feel fortunate to have people around me who are supportive and who genuinely care about me.

Time to clean up these coffee cups and get some work done on the book. Thanks for having coffee with me today! #weekendcoffeeshare #amwriting #amblogging #writing #friendship #weather #livingintheforest

#weekendcoffeeshare is brought to you by DIana at Parttimemonsterblog.com

 

Posted in Uncategorized, Women's Issues

Friendship

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When we are young adults, most of us have many friends. We still have our friends from high school. We make friends in college. We have embarked on our careers and have work friends. We have friends from other walks of life that we have made along the way. As we go along through our lives, not all of those friends stay with us. We lose some along the way. Some become involved in their families and with their children and don’t feel they have time for friendships. Others are trying to establish demanding careers and they are lucky to get home at night in time to fall into bed, get a few hours sleep, and do it all over the next day. Some friends develop interests that are different than ours and friendships die a natural death. Others move away and the geographic distance makes maintaining friendship challenging.

As our friends change and step into their adult lives, we change too.

If we are emotionally healthy, we develop an understanding of why friends come and go and we don’t end up with any resentment toward these individuals who were our friends. As we get older, our friends tend to fall into several categories:

1. Casual Friends: These are the friends you might go to a movie with, or shopping, or even lunch. Casual friends are usually for pure social interaction. But, you aren’t going to tell them your deepest and darkest thoughts and secrets.

2. Business Friends: These are your work friends. They are people you see daily, collaborate with on projects, and may have a little social interaction with like daily lunches. It is easy to let them become at least casual friends, but these friends can become toxic due to issues like professional jealousy.

3. Intimate Friends: Don’t think sexual here. That is not what I mean by intimate friends. Intimate friends are your best friends. I am of the opinion that you have only a handful of real intimate friends in your life, though your perception may be that you have more than this. I think that is a dangerous perception. Intimate friends are those with whom you share your hopes and dreams and your deepest thoughts and feelings. You trust these friends implicitly.

4. Toxic Friends: These friends are those you make, perhaps at work, that latch onto you without knowing you well but who want to know all your deepest and darkest secrets. They may also be casual friends who are not emotionally healthy and become obsessed. The sooner you can get out of a toxic relationship, the better.

The whole discussion of friendship begs the question: Why do we need friends? Why can’t our spouse or significant other, serve as the only friend we need? The answer, I think, is simple. People need people. Not just our spouse or significant other. Women need their girlfriends. We find being around our girlfriends soothing and satisfying. We can talk to them and get things off our chests. We can listen and help them do the same. We feel needed.

In order to work, friendship has to feel right. One person can’t be a better friend than the other. There can’t be any passive-aggressive behavior or hidden agendas on either side. There has to be openness and honesty. There has to be mutual sharing and respect. Both people in a friendship have to be able to talk to the other. If we have that with our girlfriends, we have real friends. #amwriting #writing #blogging #Bestfriends!