Posted in Musings, Non-fiction

Wednesday’s Words

If you get to know me through my writing and these musings, there is one overriding thing you will discover about me. I’m always thinking and thinking deeply. I think they call it busy brain. It used to be that my brain was so busy I couldn’t sleep at night. But, I’ve learned to put myself in a state of Zen at bedtime and block out the roaring river of thoughts in my head.

What do I think about? I think about the minutiae of daily life and things going on around me in which I’m interested. I’m also a big picture kind of girl. I can see the big picture best when I think about global issues like world peace, poverty, homelessness, democracy, and the like. I’m not as good at seeing the big picture when it comes to my own life. We are not as objective about our own lives.

One thing I’ve discovered is that my generation (baby boomers) and younger generations (millennials, Gen X, etc.) have quite a different outlook on life. You would think I would have discovered this during the almost 30 years I spent as a college professor. But not so much. The generation immediately behind me was not so different from my own. Now, when I can look back more than one generation, I clearly see the differences and I think they are rooted in how our parents raised us. A second cause is probably technology.

How do you feel about this? Comments?

Posted in #weekendcoffeeshare, Uncategorized

#weekendcoffeeshare #158 – March 30, 2024

green tea on green background

Hello, everyone, and welcome to #weekendcoffeeshare #158. Help yourself to one of several brews or a cup of green or black tea. Grab your beverage, have a seat in my writing room, and we’ll catch up!

As Natalie points out, it’s the end of one entire quarter of 2024! I can’t believe three months of 2024 are already gone. The older you get, the faster time flies! If we were having coffee this morning, I would tell you that this last quarter has been one of the busiest I’ve had in a long time. I’ve had several projects that I’ve tackled but not necessarily finished.

The first quarter has been my time to break back into to blogging and I’ve surely enjoyed blogging with all of you. My fiction skills were rusty (or non-existent) and I’m trying to hone them a bit by writing for the excellent Challenges here on WordPress. I’ve also written a few non-fiction pieces on topics near and dear to my heart. My Appalachian series, for example. Stories here and there about other non-fiction topics, rescue dogs and hunting dogs. Politics. A little travel writing. These areas in which I write will continue on into second quarter 2024.

One project is a novella, perhaps an e-book, that I’m working on. The genre is fantasy which I’ve never written before. I find it fascinating and quite difficult. I have enjoyed the world building phase a great deal. I’ve found that fantasy is challenging. My novella is set in a particular time and I want the details of that time accurately depicted. It’s required a lot of research and I’m still not quite there yet, but I’m gaining on it! This WIP will extend into the second quarter of 2024 and probably beyond. What’s your latest WIP that will go on for some time this year?

On a personal note, busy is an understatement. It’s just barely the beginning of spring here in the Northern Hemisphere. That means outside work like cleaning up the yard and flower beds. I love in the forest so no vegetable beds, I’m afraid. We get our spring, summer, and fall vegetables from local farmers’ markets. We are starting, but just starting, to see signs of spring here. We’ve had warm weather early and I’m afraid my plants will be killed back by frost. Our last frost date isn’t until May 15.

These crocuses and ferns will be fine if it frosts, but I have peonies, iris, clematis, and hostas that may not be fine.

On another subject, my husband has spent the last six months dealing with medical challenges. We hope that he is now stable and maybe even getting some better. We’re had a lot of medical paperwork and doctor’s appointments to attend to.

Another activity I will be involved in during the second quarter of 2024 is dog training. Our German Shepherd, Sophie, is both obedience and protection trained. She just needs some brushing up on her skills. If our Corgi, Hazel, can stay well, she needs obedience training. Hazel doesn’t understand (yet) the concept of obedience since she has been sick. She seems to be getting better!

The only travel we have planned, to date, is short trips to Kentucky State Parks. We take Sophie with us and she has a blast. She always gets a hamburger on the way home.

What is everyone reading? I am reading the new novel by Kristen Hannah, The Women. It is about a girl in her early 20s, back in the 1960’s, who is a nurse and volunteers in the Army to be an Army surgical nurse in South Vietnam. Believe me, it is worth a read. If you weren’t around during the Vietnam War, you’ll learn a lot. If you were, you will remember a lot.

Thank you so much for coming to my #weekendcoffeeshare #158 this weekend!

Thank you to Natalie the Explorer for hosting #weekendendcoffeeshare!

Posted in Creative Nonfiction Essays, creative writing, Non-fiction

A Requiem for the Rescue Dogs

Little puppy dog, loking at the camera behing the wire fence, in a shelter adoption.

We named him Freddy. We didn’t know his name. I opened my back door on the morning of the fifth of July about seven years ago and he was humped up on the porch, as close to the door as he could get. We’d never seen him before. We had no idea where he came from. My husband and I went outside to check him out. He just looked at us and when he discovered we were kind, he stayed as close to us as he could.

We did everything we were supposed to do. We called the local animal shelter and reported him. We put up signs around the neighborhood. We called neighbors. All this time, Freddy wouldn’t leave our property. He laid in the garage on an old rug and wagged his tail every time he saw one of us.

A few years later, we were standing in our garage and the door was open. We saw what resembled a furry bullet running as fast as she could down our long driveway toward our garage. She ran inside and hid in a corner. We had never seen her before. A beautiful German Shepherd dog. It was storming outside and we assumed she got frightened and ran away from home. She made up with us easily. Just like with Freddy, we did everything we knew to do to find her owners. No luck.

About three days later, in the case of both dogs, the owners found us. Instead of thanking us for caring for their dogs while they were lost, they were angry. Angry because we didn’t magically know where the dogs belonged.

In the case of Freddy, he was a neighbor’s dog from about a mile away. The neighbor took him home and he came back. He kept coming back repeatedly. Finally, his owners chained him to a dog house in the summer heat and he couldn’t come back again. Six years later, Freddy appeared in our driveway again. He was old now and he wasn’t well. Again, he was taken away to his home.

The German Shepherd is an interesting story. Finally, through social media, we found her owners. Her owner came after her and we thought something was strange from the first. He wouldn’t park in our driveway. We walked out to his truck. The dog didn’t follow us. He started accusing us of stealing his dog. He was abusive and was obviously capable of violence. He called for the dog and she wouldn’t come to him. He kept calling and that beautiful dog crawled a few inches at a time on her belly. She crawled around him, around his truck, under his truck, always keeping a distance from him. Finally, he caught her, picked her up by her back legs, and threw her through the open door of his pickup truck. She crashed inside to the floorboard. I don’t know what happened to her, but we’ve heard she is locked in a storage shed most of the time.

Dogs are and can be neglected and abused in a variety of ways for many reasons. Hunting dogs, for example, are often hunted until they drop and a terrible problem exists with regard to their treatment and care. In the U.S., as our politics of hatred have ramped up, so has violence and abuse. Haters take their rage out on their children and defenseless animals. I find the situation in the U.S. to be almost intolerable.

Maybe you’re asking yourself by now where the animal cruelty authorities were in the case of Freddy and the German Shepherd. In our state in the U.S., we have almost no effective laws to protect defenseless animals. The animal control officer said he would check on them. We even talked to the Sheriff in the case of the German Shepherd. We never heard anything back from either party.

According to a 2024 study conducted by Forbes Magazine, over six million dogs are surrendered to animal shelters each year. About two-thirds of that number are adopted. The rest are euthanized. How many dogs need to be rescued who reside in abusive or neglectful homes? No one knows.

The pandemic didn’t help. People were isolated and lonely. They thought the solution was to adopt a pet. Dogs, in the U.S. are more popular than cats. Unfortunately, many of the people who adopted dogs during the pandemic didn’t consider what their situation would be after the pandemic. Would their remote jobs become onsite jobs again? Would they even have jobs? No one knew, for sure, that the economy would take a downturn and inflation would soar. The cost of caring for a pet skyrocketed and so did the number of people who surrendered their dogs to an animal shelter or just left them to fend for themselves.

After the dog we had for many passed away in September, 2023, we decided to rescue a dog. We ended up rescuing two dogs, both from horrible situations. Meet Sophie. A purebred German Shepherd who was found by a rescue group in a wire crate and tied to a fence post outside a festival site in the hot sun.

Sophie is somewhere between two and three years old. We only know part of her story. She was purchased by a couple, as a puppy, who it seems loved her. They divorced and she was passed from person to person for almost two years. It could have been a nightmare, rescuing a German Shepherd dog, but Sophie has a wonderful temperament. She came to us obedience trained and guard trained. She’s the perfect dog.

In the past, we have had Pembroke Welsh Corgis and we heard of one that needed rescue. Enter Hazel. She is a female and is now about 20 months old. Hazel was really neglected and has major health issues, but we will love her and take care of her. So many rescue dogs do have health issues. They also have mental and emotional issues and Hazel is a poster dog for all of these concerns.

Rescue dogs come with baggage. Once they trust you, which can take some time, they are truly your best friends. Instead of buying expensive purebred dogs from breeders, consider rescuing a dog who will become your best friend. There is so much need for good homes and compassionate, loving dog owners. Rescuing a dog is very gratifying even though it may require a little more work than buying an eight-week old puppy for thousands of dollars.

You don’t have to go to just the local animal shelters. Call breeders of whatever breed you are interested in. You can find a list on the American Kennel Club website. You might be able to find a breeder ready to retire a show or breeding dog that would fit your needs perfectly. Some of the dogs who are retired are sent straight to rescue after being used for years for show or breeding. They need all of us.

Posted in Challenges, nonfiction, Writing

#SundayPoser #175

Blogging has been an important part of my life since 2016. I’ve been blogging off and on, for eight years. I’ve actually had a career in writing in the fields of finance and business since 1998, but at that time, I was also a college professor of finance. Finance and business are a far cry from creative writing! I juggled the two careers, teaching and writing, until 2008 when I retired from teaching. I became a full-time writer, but I only wrote non-fiction in my field of finance.

For a while, I freelanced for a number of companies and websites. After 2008, I landed several contract jobs and writing actually started to be an encore career for me. I was still freelancing as a finance and business writer. I also wrote a bit on education.

Since I was a child, I had dreamed of writing fiction and engaging in creative writing. I had no training or experience, but I did have a wonderful mentor who helped and encouraged me. When I finally discovered blogging, I thought I could hone my limited creative writing skills by blogging. That was eight years ago.

I’ve had to take some breaks from blogging over the years when I was working a particularly hard contract job that required long hours. I’ve always come back to my WordPress blog and this wonderful group of bloggers.

Blogging and reading other people’s blogs never bores me. We have some wonderful professional writers here in our community whose work I thoroughly enjoy, along with other writers who write more for fun. Some have made a successful career from their blogging. I have a wide variety of interests so reading and writing on varied topics is suitable for me.

Blogging has also given me an emotional outlet. I’m an introvert, so talking to people is occasionally difficult. I can say everything I want to say through writing and blogging.

Thanks to #SundayPoser!

Posted in #weekendcoffeeshare

What a Week! #weekendcoffeeshare – March 2, 2024

Welcome to my #weekendcoffeeshare for March 2, 2024! Pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee. I also have tea if that’s your preference and I’ll share with you what’s been going on this week! Good to see all of you.

It’s been a wild weather week in northeastern Kentucky, U.S.! One day it would be almost warm (around 60 degrees F.) and the next day, the temperature dropped more than 20 degrees and there were flooding rains. I live on a hill and the creek at the bottom of the hill ran right out of its banks onto the road. Now it’s cold today, but we are supposed to have a very warm week for this time of year this coming week. 55 – 70 degrees F. Should be nice.

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged here, so I decided to redesign my site to update it. That’s been some serious work this week. Please consider the site under construction, although I am using it, and bear with me while I get all the kinks worked out.

The week started out with my little dog, Hazel, and her illness. Hazel is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, only a year and a half old, and she has quite a serious condition. The vet and I have worked out a regimen for her and so far so good. Hazel did not have a good start in life at her breeder’s facility which is largely why she’s ill now. Hopefully, we can pull her out of it. Here is Hazel a few weeks ago. She has the sweetest temperament. We have another dog as well, Sophie, but I’ll introduce Sophie to you at another time.

After we got Hazel settled, my husband, Roger, had to enter the hospital for a night for a sleep study. He’s a pretty funny guy and kept the technicians laughing. He fell asleep before they got him hooked up for the sleep study and they had to wake him. Then he had really restless sleep and finally, ripped off some of the sensors that were monitoring his sleep. At that point, the technicians told him to please leave and that they had all the data they needed. Still waiting on results here.

My biggest frustration at this time of year, the beginning of meteorological spring in the Northern Hemisphere, is probably shared by some of you. I can’t find decent food to eat. The spring produce has not began to arrive. Since I live in a small town, it is particularly bad so we spend at least one day a week in a nearby city shopping. It takes looking far and wide to eat healthy. That will get a bit better as spring and summer arrive and local vegetable markets pop up.

The only writing I’ve done this week is on this blog. I’m not quite ready to jump into a big writing project yet, but I can feel the urge catching up to me. This time it will be a book or maybe even a serialized novel. My greatest interest, right now, lies in writing non-fiction on topics that interest me.

Speaking of topics that interest me, you cannot turn on the television, the computer, or even walk down the street without U.S. politics smacking you in the face. This is the first election year that I have actively avoided reading or watching the news. Our political situation is insane right now and has been for some time. The citizens of the U.S. are deeply polarized. It’s so bad it has destroyed friendships and families. I have no idea what will happen and am avoiding thinking about it. I’m too old for the stress.

I am a voracious reader as I’m sure many of you are. I read to relax and, of course, get ideas for writing. I just read the best two novels that are in a series of two. I want to recommend you take a look at them. I don’t normally read much fantasy, but these novels were fantasy in which the author did a fabulous job of making them feel real. Such an interesting read. They are Fourth Wing, Book 1, and Iron Flame, Book 2, by Rebecca Yarros. You’ll be knocked off your feet!

I think I’ll work on this blog, relax and watch sports the rest of the weekend! I hope you’ve enjoyed my coffee share and that I will see you again in two weeks when we resume. Have a great couple of weeks!

Northeastern Kentucky, USA. Dreary weather on the first day of meteorological spring!

Posted in #weekendcoffeeshare

#weekendcoffeeshare – February 24, 2024.

Living the dream in the deep woods of Kentucky

Welcome to my #weekendcoffee share on February 24, 2024. It has been a long time since I have been able to pay attention to my blog, but that’s about to change. I welcome all of you who might remember me and everyone new as well!

Up until recently, I was writing full-time, but I have retired. I may work on a book, but I’m not going to write for a living anymore. It’s the time in my life to write what I want to, write a book, and develop this blog.

It’s almost spring here in Kentucky and it can’t come soon enough for me. We have had a very mild winter, the mildest winter I can remember here in Kentucky. We’ve had a little snow a few times but very little. We have had some really cold temperatures, but just as often, it has been spring-like outdoors. What an odd winter it has been. Climate change, perhaps?

A few months ago, I wrapped up my job and, after two careers, finally retired. I last worked for a Wall Street firm, SmartAsset. What a great employer! I wrote financial articles for them for a couple of years and it was really a good experience even though I worked 16 hours a day! Before SmartAsset, I worked for a number of Wall Street firms along with the New York Times. Prior to that, I was a college professor of finance for 27 years. Now, after so many years of work, it feels good to be retired although I do miss it. Here, on my blog, I hope to continue to write about subjects close to my heart including Appalachia and other topics. I also like to participate in challenges here.

To re-introduce myself to you, and just introduce myself to anyone who is new, I have been writing and teaching for many years. I’m now older even though I still feel like I’m 35 in my head! I won’t say that age is just a number. Believe me, age and aging is real. Another subject I’ll write about here. You can expect 2-3 posts per week from me. I live in the country near a small town in Kentucky, a beautiful state. I live very near the Bluegrass, horse farm country. My family includes my husband, also retired and with some serious heart issues, and two dogs and one cat. More about the livestock here later!

Late February, I think, is an odd time of year. Not quite still winter, but not spring yet. At least not here. The days vary from very cold to quite warm. But there aren’t many signs of spring yet except the horses are having their babies and they are adorable when they are out in the fields. I am definitely anxious for spring.

That’s all for now. I welcome you all to my #weekendendcoffeeshare. I hope to see you again soon. If any of you know of any challenges that are currently ongoing, please drop me a note in the comments section and let me know where I can find them.

Thank you!

#weekendcoffeeshare is sponsored by Natalie of Natalie the Explorer

Rosemary

Posted in Fiction

Afar – #writephoto

After Ladd left home with the small man, Knowledge went back to her job for the day. She was in the spinning room that day with some of the other women. They were sharing cotton and wool fabric and making clothing for their families. After work, Knowledge couldn’t get her mind off her family, so she took a walk to one of the hills surrounding Farnsworth. She stared in the direction of London, where Ladd would eventually arrive. She wished she could see him from afar.

Her daughter, Mercy, was taking Ladd’s departure particularly hard. She saw the tears in Mercy’s eyes during their goodbyes to Ladd. She would speak with Mercy tonight. What she didn’t know was that Mercy had had a difficult afternoon.

Mercy, Ladd’s 12-year old sister, cried all day the day Ladd left for his apprenticeship in wizardry In London. The two children had been close all of Mercy’s life. Ladd protected her. They shared their food. Ladd even gave her part of his food when times were lean for the family. She felt lost without him and could hardly believe she wouldn’t see him for a year. She had to go back to work, and she walked slowly and tearfully toward the Lord’s gardens.

Mercy heard someone running up behind her and she stopped and turned. It was Smith, who she would soon marry. She collapsed on the ground, sobbing.

“Oh, Smith, Ladd is gone to the city. I’m fearful I will never see him again,” Mercy cried.

Smith grabbed Mercy’s shoulders and held her at arm’s length.

“Your father just told me about Ladd’s apprenticeship. He thought I could, perhaps, comfort you.”

“No one can comfort me, Smith. My brother is gone. For a year.”

“Mercy, your brother is a man now. He has to make his own way,” Smith replied.

Ladd’s family had discussed, before he left, that they would not talk to the other villagers about his actual apprenticeship in wizardry. Mercy didn’t know if Smith knew this since she and Smith had not yet married.

Smith walked with Mercy to the Lord’s gardens, trying to comfort her. Mercy’s tears flowed freely. Smith stopped along the path and gently stopped Mercy.

“Mercy, this is a difficult time for you. Let me make it easier. We are to marry. Let’s go ahead and create our union.”

Mercy said, “You will have to ask my father. He takes care of such things.”

She desperately wanted to say no to Smith, but it was not her place. Smith was not a boy, but an older man. She did not love him. She wanted to love her husband.

“I already have a hut for us. It’s much like your parents’ hut. It has two nice rooms. I will make it as nice for you as I can, and I will treat you as if you were the Queen.”

Smith’s statement made Mercy smile.

“I will miss my parents, Smith,” Mercy said.

“My hut is near Lord Percival’s home. It’s only across the village green. You can see your parents as much as you desire, Mercy.”

“Smith, you are very nice,” said Mercy.

Smith smiled. “I’m going to speak with your father.”

Mercy didn’t comment. She walked on to the gardens and went back to work. Now she was crying both about Ladd and about her soon-to-be marriage.

 

Thanks, Sue!

Posted in creative writing, Fiction

Glow – Walk Toward the Light – #writephoto

93E57F4E-1DB4-41AE-B885-99D0057775D3

The door of the hut where Ladd lived with his family faced east. Dawn broke soon after Archer, Knowledge, and Mercy left for work and Ladd still sat in the straight chair in front of the fire. He noticed Cat, with the red eyes, had come in and taken a seat in front of the fire. Behind Cat, there came a small man. He stood at the doorway looking at Ladd with the glow of the sunlight diffused behind him.

“Good day, Ladd,” the small man said.

“Hullo. Do I know you?”

“No, but you will. I was sent by the Grand Wizard.”

Ladd jumped up, out of his chair, immediately.

“You will be my apprentice in my grocery shop in London. There you will learn the trade of shopkeeping. You will also learn the craft of wizardry for the benefit of the citizens of this village to which you will return.”

Ladd studied the small man as he spoke. He didn’t look like a wizard. He had short gray hair and a gray beard, with sparkling blue eyes. The glow of the rising sun surrounded him. He was slightly built, not as tall as Ladd.

The small man continued, “I know you don’t want to be a wizard. What you don’t know yet is that your background made it your destiny. Now gather your things and we will go see your family so you can say goodbye for now. Have you had breakfast?

“Yes,” Ladd said.

“I am going to eat while you get ready. Do you have mead?”

Ladd pointed out the mead to the small man and started to gather his things. Ladd didn’t take very much. Shortly, the two of them left, along with Cat, to find his family so he could say his goodbye’s.

Ladd and the small man ran into Knowledge right outside the door of the hut as she returned from her talk with Healer. The small man told Knowledge who he was and that he would be leaving with Ladd to begin Ladd’s apprenticeship. Knowledge asked him to wait while she found the rest of the family so they could say goodbye. As she said that, Archer walked up.

“What’s going on here?” Archer asked.

Knowledge replied, “This man was sent by the Grand Wizard to pick up Ladd. Ladd will be his apprentice in London. He will learn to be a shopkeeper as well as receive training in wizardry.”

“When will Ladd be allowed to return to us?” Archer asked.

The small man replied, “Within one year, sir. He will then take up the position as the wizard in the village. He may also want to keep a small shop here.”

Archer said, “This will be a loss for our family. I go out on the hunt often. I rely on Ladd to protect the family while I am gone. He is helpful in providing food for the women.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I serve at the pleasure of the Grand Wizard.”

“Then I don’t suppose we have any recourse,” Archer said.

The family came together with hugs and murmurs of good wishes and love. In a few moments, the small man and Ladd walked from the village as Ladd turned around and waved to his loved ones. Cat jumped up on his shoulder to get a ride.

Posted in Creative Nonfiction Essays

Dictate

A bright blue fall day prompts childhood memories. The summer in Kentucky has been long and hot with at least two heat waves that were more intense than most can remember. Until yesterday, we were experiencing a heat wave where the day. time temperatures were at least 20 degrees above normal. Even the animals seemed to breathe a sigh of relief when the temperatures finally dropped to something near normal yesterday. Perhaps the rains will come and wet this forest where I live. The few leaves that have fallen are a dry, crunchy brown.

The dry weather dictates whether or not we have a fire season this fall. It seems Mother Nature is going to err on the side of fire this year. This little area of the world has had no rain for many weeks. The Daniel Boone National Forest is so dry that you can even hear the raccoons walk. Frogs populated our deck last night because they know we water our flowers there. They came in search of water. We gave them an extra spray or two of the hose and they seemed to appreciate that. It’s disconcerting for me, at this time of year, to live in these woods.

Sitting on my deck last night, I remembered fall nights as a child at a home not far from where I live now. We would sit outdoors and listen to the whippoorwills. I haven’t heard one in years, even though I live in the country. Urban development has driven them away. I’ve only seen a few fireflies. My friend was usually with me on those warm autumn nights. I remembered him with such fondness last night. Eddie passed away recently and I so miss just knowing that he’s in the world. The Eddie I knew as a boy was good and the Eddie who was a man was even better.

Since Eddie left us, I feel fundamentally changed. It’s as if the last vestiges of childhood have slipped away from me. Without Eddie in the world, without the cousins I played with as a child, without my parents, the childhood I spent on that hill down the road seems very far away. A mystical, magical time that I must have dreamed. The hills behind our houses that Eddie and I explored together….those hills that are now red and gold in their autumn glory must have just existed in my imagination.

Is this what grief dictates? Does it strip away everything and just leave a shell? What is really left when your family is gone? Eddie was my family. When your friends start to go as well? Will those warm autumn memories of baseball in the backyard, cards in front of the roaring fireplace, and a warm feeling of friends and family ever wrap around us again?

Thanks to onedailyprompt.wordpress.com

Posted in Fiction, Uncategorized

Clouds – #writephoto

She doesn’t walk much anymore, but today, her dog needed to walk so off they went. He’s excited to be out and she hopes the walk will be good for her too. It’s hard for her to get outside her own head, but she looks around at the scenery and notices the beautiful, but darkening clouds ahead of her. She doesn’t think they look threatening, so she and her dog walk on. She tries to be in the moment mentally and he helps with that, smelling every smell along the way. It helps her to focus. As always, she’s thinking about many things while trying just to think about him and his joyous communion with nature.

The clouds are so beautiful that they cause an old song to pop into her head. She smiles as she remember Joni Mitchell’s original recording of “Both Sides Now.” The ultimate “cloud” song as far as she is concerned. She remembers lying in her parent’s backyard in the grass, looking up at the clouds as a teenager. She remembers the line “ice cream castles in the air.” As a young girl, she looked at the cloud formations and dreamed of such innocent and foolish things..

She and her dog stopped to rest. She gave him a drink out of his water bottle and he laid down to rest for a few minutes, looking around, drinking in the scenery. She watched the clouds as they moved overhead. As an older teenager, reaching adulthood, she still watched the clouds in the backyard, but the images became different. She remembers the words to the song. One stanza described her feelings at that time in her life, when she met a boy she thought she would marry.

“Moons and Junes and ferries wheels 
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real 
I’ve looked at love that way”

She had fallen in love and she thought he was in love. Something terrible happened. He was not the boy, she had found out very painfully, that she would marry. She reached down and touched her dog’s head. He was her touchstone now if her thoughts drifted to a bad place.

They got up and walked on. The dog was anxious to see what was over the next rise on their walk.

2018 had turned into a year of reflection for her. She hated that and thought it was brought on by her health issues which seem to have blown up this past year. She had spent the year frightened and it had made her look back at her life. She liked to look forward, but she was facing serious life-threatening issues. Looking forward had become difficult.

She had looked at the relationships in her life. Not just romantic relationships, but all of them. Family, friends. She saw the folly in so many of them. She and her husband seemed to finally be at peace. She had amazing friends. Something wonderful had happened with her family. She had found family members she hardly knew existed and some she had not known existed and she was getting to know them. That had made her year. There were other family relationships that were gone. Gone forever. That had hurt her terribly.

Love. Romance. Did it even exist or like in the song, was it just another illusion? She had come to the conclusion that love was very rare, that it seldom existed if at all. As for the rest of her life, however long that was, she found the song to be very relevant:

“But now it’s just another show 
You leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know 
Don’t give yourself away 

I’ve looked at love from both sides now 
From give and take and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all…”

They walked on home, leaving the cloud formations behind, to do whatever they had to do.