Do you extend an apology to everyone you meet for your every questionable word or action? There seem to be two kinds of people. The first, a Type I person, is the type I just described. They apologize for everything. Every possible misdeed. Every word that could possibly offend any one in the room. Even those words or actions that do not offend anyone. This type of person is insecure and feels the need to counter their words and actions with an attached apology.
The second type of person never apologizes for anything, or almost never. They go through life saying what they want and doing what they want. They feel entitled, often at the expense of other people’s feelings. If you get an apology from a Type II person, that person must feel they did or something really bad. This type of person is often angry right under the surface and refuses to give anyone the satisfaction of their apology.
Psychologists have found that if a person apologizes too frequently, it becomes background noise and no one really takes them seriously. Especially in close relationships, the timing of the apology is important. If you have committed some sort of transgression for which you feel you need to apologize, only do it after the person that you want to apologize to has had the opportunity to vent their feelings. Only then will your apology seem sincere to them.
Studies have found that there are gender issues associated with apologies. Men apologize less frequently than do women because they have a higher tolerance for issues about which they might need to apologize. They also apologize to women far more than they do to other men.
Apologize when you have really offended someone but don’t throw around offhand apologies or people won’t take you seriously. But, do make sure you have the ability to see when you are wrong or have offended someone and make your apology. Sincere apologies help retain relationships and simply make our society a more civilized place in which to live. #amwriting #writing #blogging #lifestyle