Posted in Challenges

#SoCS – 03/25/2017

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What is it about eccentric personalities? I’ve known my share and liked most of them. When I met a person once who was to become one of my best friends, he didn’t immediately strike me as an eccentric. It was only over time that I found he marched to the beat of a different drummer. I admire people who can do that and get away with it, but having known many people with eccentric personalities, I’ve found most don’t really get away with it. They may march to that different drummer, but they pay a price for it. They get to maintain their marching beat, out of time with the drum major, but they are looked at with skepticism by their community at large. Whatever that community may be. They seem vaguely suspicious to everyone who values marching in step. You might even say they can be the outcasts of society.

Some professions welcome eccentric personalities. Why? They tend to be original thinkers and come up with inventive ideas. Academia is one such profession. Original research is required in academia. Inventive ideas are a necessity in order to excel and even to keep one’s job in all but the smallest of colleges. Even there, inventive teaching ideas are welcomed. That slightly (or not so slightly) out of step marcher is welcomed. Think Stephen Hawking to call upon an extreme example.

Some industries, at least those that actually invent products which are rare in the U.S. these days, welcome eccentric personalities as they tend to think big and develop the products that are cutting edge. Think Steve Jobs and Apple Computer. Steve Jobs was certainly an eccentric and imagine someone never having conceived of Apple products.

I haven’t seen that churches particularly welcome eccentrics. Church goers seem to enjoy like-minded people. There hasn’t ever been much room for different ideas or ways of looking at things in my experiences. Or for people who march a bit out of step.

Artist’s colonies. Eccentrics with tendencies toward the arts – writing, painting, sculpting, theatre – are often comfortable in artist’s colonies. There are some artist’s retreats to be found and even some permanent artist’s colonies. Fewer and fewer that I see.

There are Stephen Hawking’s and Steve Job’s everywhere you look. Many people just don’t give those who march to the beat of a different drummer a chance. They laugh at them. Pretend to look down on them when they may actually envy them for going their own way. Even try to make them throwaway members of society for not fitting into the cliques, clubs, and gossip circles. All because their marching speed or steps are a little different than theirs. Think of what others may be missing by not knowing them. Think of what the world may be missing. Shameful really.

Copyright Rosemary Carlson 2017

 

Posted in Challenges

The Trauma

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Liz is over it now. The breakup of her relationship with the man who meant so much to her. She goes on with her life and is happy most days. She doesn’t even think of him. She thinks of the life she has ahead of her and all she has to look forward to. He flashes through her mind occasionally, but that doesn’t bother her much. He’s a stranger. A stranger in a tragedy that seems like it never happened. Often, she feels that must have just happened in her imagination. Until night time comes.

Liz has had other traumas in her life. She doesn’t remember them. She has no idea what they were except for one incident, but her doctor thinks there was more than the one incident. That something happened way back, maybe in her childhood that she has buried deeply. She hasn’t been able to sleep for a long time, not without medication. If she falls asleep without medication, the night terrors arrive.

After the breakup with this man, the night terrors got worse. A man became front and center in them. She isn’t sure if it is the man who hurt her so badly. She thinks it is.  Their breakup is not what hurt her. It was the way he let her go that was so painful. This trauma on top of the other traumas has caused the sleep medication not to work. She supposes she is going to have to revisit the doctor as she is once again going without sleep and remembering the terrible night terrors.

Sleep deprivation, along with the PTSD that Liza suffers from due to repeated trauma, can cause all kinds of problems. Even though Liz feels like she is over her breakup and over the other trauma in her life, she probably isn’t. She realizes that. Liz always laughs and says she is the queen of repression. That she can repress almost any memory and it does seem to be true. She tells her friends she has taken these painful memories and locked them in a little box she stores in her heart and head. Once they are put away, she goes on with her life. Don’t we all do that? Liz isn’t sure.

Recently, Liz has started to feel strain in other areas of her life and she isn’t coping with stress very well. She has found herself wondering if the memories she is repressing, and can’t remember if she tries, could be bothering her. The details of her most recent trauma, the relationship and breakup with the man, are even leaving her. How could she possibly forget that? But she is. But, the night terrors remain. Sleep is elusive. During the day, her coping mechanisms are failing.

What now?

 

 

Posted in Challenges

Three Things Thursday

Three Things Thursday, sponsored by NerdintheBrain , is a little challenge where we post three things that are making us smile this week. So here goes:

ONE

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This is a picture of Dolphins in Pine Island Sound, where we will be living six months out of the year. We’re preparing to move there and it is really hard work, but it will be so worth it! I can’t wait to live there, at least part-time! It makes me happy to think about it!

TWO

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Friends. Good friends make me happy! I feel so fortunate to have good friends! I have good friends that I can rely on and they can rely on me. I’m a lucky girl!

Three

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I’m writing a novel and it’s really going very well! I’m about 25,000 words in and almost ready to write a big scene to end the first third of the novel. It’s getting complicated and exciting. My novel is a psychological thriller. It makes me happy that it’s going so well!

Posted in Challenges

#SoCS -3/11/2017

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A lot on my mind today, though I won’t write about all of it. Too much. Still getting ready for our move to the Southwest Gulf Coast of Florida. We’ll live there six months of the year and at our home in Kentucky the other six months. I’d rather be in Florida! It’s hard to live in two places and harder still to pack up about one-third of my house to make this move in late March. Time is short. I only have about two weeks until it’s time to leave.

We have a very small place in Florida. Really it is just a base camp until we find a house to live in. It’s enough for now. It has virtually no storage and very little closet space so I’m going crazy figuring out what to take with us. Anything we take, we leave as we will go back in the winter for our first six month stay. We won’t start looking for a house immediately. We want to spend several six month time periods there to see how we like it on a long term basis and through several seasons.

I’ve been under so much strain that I’ve been grinding my teeth in my sleep and have developed TMJ! M;y dentist is making me a mouth guard that I have to wear when I’m sleeping. Isn’t that crazy!? If we can ever get moved and get settled, it will be wonderful to live on our island on Florida’s Creative Coast.

I am managing to get in some writing. I probably shouldn’t be writing as much as I am. Writing soothes me and I do some of my best writing when under stress. Sometimes, when I’m writing, I’m thinking of how I should be packing boxes. I should write something about packing boxes! As I’m sure most of you know, moving is a huge job.

I guess we will sell our RV. We won’t need it now that we have a place to live in Southwest Florida. I am glad we’re going to sell it. I am not much of an RVer!

Something great has happened recently. I’ve been able to hook up with a good friend that I had lost touch with over the past couple of years. Wendy and I have been good friends for years now. We drifted apart for awhile, but she is back in my life and I couldn’t be happier. She is smart and funny and she makes me laugh. I’m so happy that she is back in my life and I hope she will now always be in my life!

Have a wonderful week!

#SoCS

 

Posted in Challenges

Hazardous Waste

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He walked when he needed to think. He walked wherever his feet took him. He had to decide what to do about her. He found himself outside the military depot. Inside they kept hazardous waste. Maybe their relationship was just that. Hazardous waste.

 

 

 

Posted in Challenges, Weight Loss

One-Liner Wednesday

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Quote:

The man who offers an insult writes it in sand, but for the man who receives it, it’s chiseled in bronze. –Giovanni Guareschi

1linerWeds

 

Posted in Challenges

The Project of Writing a Novel – #SoCS 3/4/2017

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I’ve mentioned in these stream of consciousness posts that I’m writing a novel. I suspect it is a little like giving birth. This project is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but one of the most fulfilling.

I changed careers in the middle of my life. I finished a career as a college professor after 27 years. I still felt young and strong and interested in the world around me. I wasn’t ready to quit work and retire to my rocking chair. I have been writing since I was a child. My first story was published in the Highlights for Children publication. Then, during my teaching career, I published many academic writings. Near the end of that career, I started writing for a financial brokerage and was writing for them, when I wasn’t at school, on 9/11. Writing about 9/11 gave me some serious writing chops. I was hired to write for the New York Times division, About.com. I was their Subject Matter Expert on finance and wrote, edited, and became the webmaster for their Business Finance website. I held that gig for five years. That gave way to writing for corporations, usually online learning materials for their executives. I also wrote many non-fiction articles for online and offline magazines.

So here I am. With my own blog where I started out writing well-researched non-fiction and I still write some of that. I took some writing classes through Udemy and read authors like Stephen King and Rayne Hall. I’ve studied writing extensively. I, then, started writing some of the fiction challenges here on WordPress which have helped me enormously and I decided to try my hand at my first novel. I knew the story I wanted to tell. I just had to figure out how to tell it, which is a daily process.

A good novel that you plan to hand to a publisher is about 80,000 words. That is long and hard and requires that you study all elements of writing fiction. I’m closing in on the first of three parts of this novel which is a psychological thriller. The first part, indeed all three parts, will be 26,000 words or thereabouts. It’s exhausting and very satisfying work. If you are interested in writing a novel, I’d recommend you read Stephen King’s book “On Writing” first.

I’d love to hear any comment you want to make or any advice! I’m a novice and still have a lot to learn!

SoCS 3/4/2017

Posted in Challenges

Desolation

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Photo credit to courtney065 flikr

Callie knew she shouldn’t have come here. She was glad her cousin, Daniel, was with her. She had been gone from Kentucky, the state where she had grown up and lived most of her adult life, for five years now. It had been at least ten years since she had been to the old homeplace deep in the heart of the eastern part of the state. Deep in the heart of Appalachia. If her uncle’s old house on the farm looked like this, she wasn’t sure she wanted to see the main house, her grandparent’s old home. The home she had spent so much time at as a child and teenager.

Eastern Kentucky was decimated. It had been sliding downhill for years. When coal mining started to decline way back in the 1980s, the whole region started to decline. The farming that was secondary to mining also declined when the subsidies on growing tobacco were stopped. There used to be tobacco bases everywhere you looked around here. Her grandparents lived on tobacco and oil money. There wasn’t a tobacco base to be found now. All the tobacco was grown overseas.

As Callie and Daniel drove around Eastern Kentucky, where their mothers grew up, she thought of what could be done for these poor people who loved their culture and their way of life but had very little means to support themselves. Coal mining would never come back in any big way. There was a bit more mining going on under President Trump because he had done away with most of the mining regulations. All that did was make an unsafe working environment for the miners and pollute the environment. It would only last until the first big mine disaster.

The obvious solution to the job problem in this area is to let the people grow marijuana. At the very least medicinal marijuana and, in Callie’s opinion, recreational marijuana. This was the marijuana capital of the United States anyway. Why not let them grow it legally? It was used medicinally for so many good things. Regulate it if they want. President Trump was trying to do away with laws in the states that allowed legal marijuana purchases, even for medicinal marijuana. Callie and Daniel both thought that was criminal. It was a pain reliever for cancer patients. It could be used as a pain reliever for so many things, even the crippling rheumatoid arthritis like her mother had.

Letting these people in Eastern Kentucky grow marijuana legally would be such a good thing for this area. It would bring it back from the desolate state it was in. Eastern Kentucky was known, now, for its high drug use. Mostly prescription drugs but heroin had crept into the picture. Drug use was high because the unemployment rate in many areas approached 40 percent. The people felt hopeless and helpless. Give them a cash crop to grow in the valleys between these mountains and make them feel a useful member of society. The drug problem, in Callie’s opinion, would drop.

Hemp was another cash crop that these people could grow. It had been grown on an experimental basis on the University of Kentucky farm. It could be used to make clothes and other products. Trump had promised to bring back manufacturing to the United States. If he kept that promise, hemp could be used in manufacturing. Just like the Eastern Kentucky area was a prime area for growing marijuana, it was also a prime area for growing hemp.

Before Trump became President, there was progress being made on the legalization of marijuana and hemp production that would have helped Appalachia so much. Any progress made had been rolled back under his administration. He seemed to want to take us back to the days of his youth. The people she knew were in one camp or another. Either they were still Trump supporters or they were scared to death he was leading the country straight into Fascism. She was in the latter camp as was Daniel.

People seemed to be trying to go on with their lives. That’s why she and Daniel were taking this tour of the land where their mother’s grew up. The only relatives they had here now were very distant cousins who they didn’t even know. So they were visiting the places familiar to them, taking stock of the changes, probably for the last time. Callie had come to Kentucky for a visit and she and Daniel had decided to do this on a whim.

There was her grandfather’s house! Just as rundown as the shack her uncle used to live in. She could see the oil wells behind it in the same place they were when she was a child. They were pumping. She had noticed that her oil royalties had gotten a little better recently, but she was sure it was a short-term thing. She and Daniel and the rest of the cousins feared the wells were just about dry.

Oil, health care, and education were just about the only jobs left in this area. A few oil workers were needed as were primary and secondary teachers. A lot of health care workers were needed but they were hard to attract to the area unless they had family here. There was a lot of illness. President Trump’s immigration policy had swept all the foreign physicians out of Eastern Kentucky and they had been the backbone of the health care system.

As Callie and Daniel started home, depression hovered over them like a cloud. It used to be so beautiful here. If the federal government would provide the right kind of help, it could be again. As long as Donald Trump, or anyone like him was President, they knew it would never happen. Callie knew she would go back to her home in Florida now and would never look back. She had worried about this area and looked back too long. Time to move on.

Posted in Challenges

Song Lyric Sunday – 2/26/2017

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The theme for this week’s Song Lyric Sunday is losing someone you love. This song, A Song for You, by Ray Charles, is a song that reminds me, personally, of someone I loved and lost.

A Song for You

by Ray Charles

I’ve been so many places in my life and time
I’ve sung a lot of songs, I’ve made some bad rhyme
I’ve acted out my life in stages
With ten thousand people watching
But we’re alone now and I’m singin’ this song for you
I know your image of me is what I hope to be, baby
I’ve treated you unkindly but girl can’t you see
There’s no one more important to me
So darling can’t you please see through me
’cause we’re alone now and I’m singin’ my song for you
You taught me precious secrets of the truth, withholdin’ nothin’
You came out in front and I was hiding
But now I’m so much better so if my words don’t come together
Listen to the melody cause my love’s in there hiding
I love you in a place where there’s no space or time
I love you for my life, ’cause you’re a friend of mine
And when my life is over, remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singin’ my song for you
I love you in a place where there’s no space or time
I’ve loved you for my life, yes, you’re a friend of mine
And when my life is over, remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singin’ my song for you, yes
We were alone and I was singin’ this song for you, baby
We were alone and I was singin’ my song,
Singin’ my song, singin’ my song, singin’ my song
Singin’ my song

Song Lyric Sunday

 

Posted in Challenges

#SoCS – 02/25/2017

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Taxes, Moving, Reading, and Writing…and Weather!

How is it that it is already time for me to do my taxes this spring? Every year, about this time, it suddenly dawns on me that I really do have to settle up with the feds and that I need to start working on it. This year, my timetable is even more compressed since I’ll be heading back to South Florida in just one month. My federal and state taxes have to be signed, sealed, and delivered by the time I leave.

I don’t have much on my mind today except the preparations to go back to Florida and get my home set up. I’ll stay there just for a couple of months this spring. Then I won’t go back during the hot summer. I’ll wait and spend the winter there. The people from whom I bought my little Florida home vacate it on March 31. I will use the months of April and May to get it in shape to live in beginning in October or November for about six months. I’m looking forward to my spring stay even though it will mean lots of work putting it all together. Most of the furniture stays, but I’ll supply the rest of it. I’ll also move clothes when I go this spring.

Since I can’t work on the house 24/7, and don’t want to, my second priority is to spend several hours each day/night writing. My goal is to write 10,000 words during April and May on my novel. That is not a lofty goal but one I should be able to meet. I didn’t want to set a high goal and just frustrate myself. I have some paid writing gigs and, of course, my blog to keep up with as well.

Every night, I try to read just to relax. There is an author who I’m sure many of you have read but I’ll share her name with you anyway — Sarah Jio. I have enjoyed all her books.

It’s thundering outdoors right now and I’m almost glad to hear it. It’s been so very unseasonably warm here for February. We’re supposed to have a brief change in the weather pattern and the temperature should drop into the 40sF during the day. That won’t last and it seems the end of February and first of March will continue this as this unusually warm winter in the Ohio Valley. I love the hot temperatures where I go in Florida as it’s supposed to be that way at this time of year but not here. Quite the opposite. Makes me worry about things like climate change and the possibilities of global warming.

I look forward to reading your posts!

This post is part of #SoCS