Trust in a Relationship


Do you have trust in your relationships? In all of your relationships – with your partner, your family, your friends, your colleagues? Trust is the foundation of any relationship. In fact, without trust, your relationship is unfinished. Without trust, you have no relationship. Perhaps the most important trust relationship is that with your partner, whoever that partner may be. A spouse, a partner, a lover. If you can’t trust that most important person in your life, there is not only no relationship, you need to re-evaluate whatever it is that you think you have. Yes, I realize that is a hard line. I have reasons to take a hard line on this issue. Now let’s talk about trust.

When trust is mentioned between partners, faithfulness immediately comes to mind. Faithfulness, believe it or not, is not the most important trust issue. There is a more fundamental trust that should exist between partners that comes before faithfulness. If partners have that much more fundamental trust, faithfulness ceases to be an issue.  What am I talking about?

What does the term “true intentions” mean? True intentions mean the real, heartfelt feelings of each partner in the relationship. Those true intentions should be shared between the two partners. If the partners are “in love,” those are true intentions whether or not the relationship ever comes to fruition in the form of marriage or long-term commitment. If the partners intend to carry on with their relationship for the long-term in any form and communicate that to each other, those are true intentions. If the partners intend to be open and honest with each other in the relationship, those are true intentions.

This is where trust comes in. Partners have to trust each other’s true intentions. If they feel, based on each other’s behavior, that they can trust each other, the relationship has a chance to become satisfying and fulfilling to both partners.

Unfortunately, life isn’t always this simple and people certainly are not. What if one partner has intentions that are not so true and well-meaning? What if one partner has an “agenda” that the other partner has no way of knowing? The other partner may develop trust in the offending partner because they do not have full information. Not only does the non-offending partner develop trust in the other partner, but that partner is also trustworthy and the offending partner can, indeed, trust them. What, then, will happen to the relationship?

In effect, the offending partner is lying to the other partner and the relationship has no chance of becoming fulfilling and satisfying for either partner. It could flourish in the short-term, as long as the offending partner can maintain the fiction.

Here is another possible scenario. Perhaps one partner gets involved in a relationship and, somewhere along the way, that partner changes their true intentions. Those intentions become less than true, even totally false. They become something else and then that partner develops an agenda during an already established relationship. Chances are, the other partner is involved even deeper in the love relationship and is even more trusting at that point. It may be harder than ever for the other partner to discern whether or not the offending partner is still true in their intentions. What will happen in this case?

Either the first or second scenarios are not good. There is one partner lying to the other about their true intentions. The other partner, trusting the first one, is very vulnerable in both scenarios to being hurt and terribly disappointed. It won’t take very long in either scenario for cracks to appear in the relationship as the trusting partner starts to pick up clues that all is not well. They will realize that there are inconsistencies and lies popping up in the relationship. It will become a very painful thing for the trusting partner.

When the true intentions of the offending partner finally become apparent and they are not what was originally related to the trusting partner, the relationship will likely break apart. Can relationships like this be saved? In my opinion, probably not. If the offending partner had been willing to establish open communication with the other partner early on, then the relationship would never have gotten to this point. But, the trust has been broken and it is incredibly hard to get back. The offending partner may have fulfilled their agenda and may not even want to continue on with the relationship. The trusting partner will feel like everything was a lie and also may not want the relationship.

The most beautiful and success relationships between partners are those where there is open communication and each partner knows and accepts the other’s true intentions. True intentions lead to trust. Open communication and complete, uninhibited trust is the recipe for a successful love relationship. Those things don’t come easy and both partners have to be totally honest with the other and really work at it. In this writer’s opinion, this is the only way to have a satisfying and fulfilling love relationship. #amwriting #amblogging #writing #AllAboutRomance


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