Freelance writer, blogger, aspiring novelist. Former career as a college prof in finance. Encore career as freelance writer for a number of financial websites.
His emotional walls are impenetrable. For 40 years, they have been impenetrable. I don’t know him any better now than I did 40 years ago. At least not emotionally. How is that possible? Is it me? Am I that clueless? Or can someone who you have known for 40 years really still be a complete mystery to you?
Maybe he has no emotions. Sociopaths really don’t have emotions. But surely he is not a sociopaths. To be honest, I’ve often wondered about that. Whether or not he is a sociopath. There are things he would do without remorse if I didn’t tell him no, that those things were wrong.
I feel like he walks around with an impenetrable shell around him, so I also walk around with a shell around me. Not impenetrable. Not at all. But a shell that keeps me from feeling much of anything most of the time. I blame him. He’s taught me how to do this. He’s taught me why to do this. To be impenetrable.
I should be sleeping instead of writing this blog post. I had to do something to wind down after a really hard day of work. The last day of packing the RV for the trip. The last day of really hard work although the first day at the RV park is pretty hard work and the days of driving aren’t easy work. We’re driving 1000 miles and right at this minute, that seems like a long way!
Today, like yesterday, was wall-to-wall packing except for a few minor things. My traveling companion got the tow dollie and car hooked up to the RV. That doesn’t sound like much work but when it is 43 degrees and raining and the tow dollie is slick, believe me, it’s not easy. Now he hopes he can make the turn out of the driveway to drive up the road! These things want to make me giggle tonight even though they are not funny. That’s because I’m so tired I’m on the verge of hysteria! If I did giggle, my traveling companion would not be amused! RV’ing is not for the faint of heart!
As for me, I made a grocery store run, stocked the pantry and refrigerator in the RV, washed all the RV dishes and pots and pans, and generally cleaned things up. Then, I came in the house and started working on my clothes. If you knew about my clothes, you would be the ones giggling! You see, I like clothes. I have a lot of clothes. But, my clothes are not necessarily all suitable for RV’ing. So, I spent a lot of time picking out what was suitable for the trip and realizing I have more cold weather clothes than warm weather clothes. Good! That means I’ll get to go shopping since we’re going to south Florida! I love jeans. Nice jeans. Levi jeans. There is a Levi outlet very near Ft. Myers. What a shame that I have to go shopping there! 🙂 Actually, I have enough jeans but who has to know?
What I don’t have are shorts because I seldom wear shorts. Maybe I can find Levi shorts? Since I’ll be making at least one trip into my beloved Everglades, I’ll definitely need shorts. Hot there! I’m a bit of an environmentalist about all wildlife. The python situation in the Everglades disturbs me.
Back to packing. We’ve covered food and clothes. But, there is so much more. We had already packed linens but we forgot towels. We almost completely forgot towels. That would not have been a good thing. I had to pack a tote for my dog and cat. A tote for my sundries like hair products. A tote for cosmetics. Multiply this by two when you take my husband into account except he doesn’t need cosmetics! Or hair products.
Finally, he is gone to bed and I am writing this blog post. We will leave by 9 a.m. tomorrow. I still have to shower and make a stab at those sundry products. Then bed for a very few hours. I’m the navigator so sleep wasn’t as necessary for me. We will drive only about 250 miles tomorrow.
We will make about a two-hour stop at a good friend’s home in Tennessee. We’ve been friends all our lives but I’ve never seen her home, so that will be fun. We’re taking things a little easier this trip to Florida and stopping when we want. We’re anxious to get there. We aren’t anxious to kill ourselves doing it!
The next time you hear from “Adventures,” (tomorrow) it will be from the road. I’m excited!
I chose Cats in the Cradle, originally sung by Cat Stevens. This version is by Harry Chapin. It’s a song of my generation and it is about a parent/child relationship.
Cats in the Cradle
By Harry Chapin
A child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking before I knew it and as he grew
He said, “I’m gonna be like you, Dad,
You know I’m gonna be like you”
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, Dad, I don’t know when,
But we’ll get together then,
You know we’ll have a good time then.
My son turned ten just the other day
He said “Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on lets play
Can you teach me to throw? ” I said, “Not today,
I got a lot to do” He said “that’s okay”
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said “I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m going to be like him”
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, Dad, I don’t know when,
But we’ll get together then,
You know we’ll have a good time then.
Well he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say,
“Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?”
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
“What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please? ”
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, Son, I don’t know when,
But we’ll get together then, Dad
You know we’ll have a good time then.
I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said “Id like to see you if you don’t mind”
He said “Id love to Dad, if I could find the time.
You see my new jobs a hassle, and the kids have the flu.
But It’s sure nice talking to you, Dad,
It’s been sure nice talking to you…….. ”
And as I hung up the phone it had occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me,
My boy was just like me…………..
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, Son, I don’t know when,
But we’ll get together then, Dad
We’re gonna have a good time then.
There are items that people who travel in a RV often forget from trip to trip. I’m not talking about full-time RVer’s. Those people know everything as far as I’m concerned! I’m talking about the rest of us who take occasional trips in a RV. I forget the same things from winter to winter when I play snowbird. Here are some examples and this list is not exhaustive:
Clothes that don’t easily shrink in the dryer: One year, we came home from being snowbirds and literallly every piece of clothing we’d taken with us had shrunk. We learned a valuable lesson that year. RV park dryers have one drying temperature. HOT. Ditto for laundromats. Watch what you take. RV trips are very casual. Take casual clothes. I take lots of clothes so I don’t have to do laundry often so my clothes don’t have a chance to shrink!
Several pairs of comfortable shoes: This is not the time for high heels, girls. Many RV parks are the best places in the world to walk the dog, walk yourself, or ride your bike. Take your walking shoes and more than one pair. I take maybe two pairs of dressy shoes to go out to dinner at night. Dinner is usually casual too. I don’t mean fast food. I do mean nice, casual restaurants. Hint: I don’t cook much at night!
An umbrella: Everyone I know forgets an umbrella. Most people don’t purposefully go where it is constantly rainy but it does rain almost everywhere (sorry California). Take an umbrella or two.
A GPS especially for RVs: This has been worth its weight in gold. It tells you the height of the overpasses, what detours are RV-friendly, where the truck stops are, and many other facts crucial for RV owners.
Computer/phone cords for charging your stuff: If you are reading this, you’re a computer user. It seems like most of us have a smart phone these days. Some RVs have a few areas where you can charge your stuff — and some don’t. Take plugins that have multiple slots for USBs so you can plug in more than one USB-enabled computer or phone cord at once. You can get them at Wal-Mart. I have the ability to plug in ten computer/phone cords at one time. I’ve never tried that for fear it would torch the RV electrical system but I’ve plugged in a lot.
Phone with Personal Hot Spot Capability: If you work from the road as I do, or if it just important for you to keep in touch, know the WiFi at many RV parks is heavily used which means you cannot always get online. The parks are sometimes out of the way and not near a cell tower. Bottom line? Signal strength is bad. Set up a personal hot spot when you need one. It will make your life less stressful.
The food you normally eat: You will feel better if you stick to your normal diet. Before you hit the road, stock your RV pantry and refrigerator with the same things you eat at home, at least for the part of the trip when you are driving to your destination. You can grocery shop when you get there. Don’t buy big groceries until you do get there as that will cut down on the weight of the RV and beef up your already pitiful gas mileage. 🙂
Lawn Chairs: Unless you are going to the North Pole, you will want to be outdoors. A lot. RV’s get pretty confining, even the largest RV with the most slideouts. One winter in Florida, it rained. And rained. And rained. It was cold. My husband was lucky to have survived. 🙂 That was only one winter. The part of Florida we go to is almost always warm and dry in the winter with very low humidity. That year was an outlier. Take lawn chairs.
These are just a few items to remember and consider before you take a RV trip. I hope this list helps those of you who travel!
Pajamas are a wonderful thing. I’ve been exhausted from trying to get ready to travel for a trip where we will be gone for about six weeks. I’ve also been desperately trying to keep up with my writing. Last night, I finally decided that I had to rest. I put on my pajamas and just relaxed, although I have to admit that I made a list of things I have to do this weekend. Writing things. Travel things to get ready to leave in a couple of days. Just putting on my pajamas relaxes me even though I still did some mental work.
Pajamas, a robe, and house slippers. What is better than that? My little dog, Betsy, is so happy when she sees me putting on my pajamas. She knows I’m staying home. Dogs are pretty smart like that. If I’m putting on makeup, other clothes, jewelry, Betsy knows I’m going out which is something she surely does not like.
I get some of the same relaxation effect when I put on leggings, which tend to be my “around the house” clothes. But, they don’t give me as dramatic a relaxation effect as pajamas. What relaxes you? Do you get the same effect as I do from putting on your slippers, robe, and pajamas?
What if you looked out your window and saw THIS? Again, this is a house in Truckee, California after the blizzard. I would be scared to death, but the people who live here know how to deal with blizzards and the snow. The added benefit is that this kind of know in the High Sierras will help break the California drought this summer.
Two days away! We only have two days left until we take off on our RV trip. I’m excited….and tired. Very tired. I haven’t stopped moving in days. I’m resting tonight. I told a friend, if I didn’t, I’d be in the hospital, not in the RV! I just started my third list…….third in the last three days. One list seems to lead to another. I’m down to last minute things now. One of the most important things on my list for tomorrow (Saturday) is going to the grocery. I won’t completely stock the pantry and refrigerator for the trip. I will stock up for the duration of the drive to our destination in Florida.
It’s easiest on you if you continue with whatever diet you eat at home. For me, that means salad. Lots of salad. For the first part of the drive, I chop up all the salad vegetables, put them in separate bags, and refrigerate them. That will get us through a couple of days. Then I’ll do it all again. Just like at home. This is just an example of what you might want to do if you’re taking such a trip. Simple is better. Search the Web for camping recipes. You’ll find recipes using only a few ingredients. As for me, I limit my carbohydrates. I have more energy if I do as my blood sugar stays lower. Try it! You might find the same thing. I keep lots of tuna, salmon, and boiled eggs on hand. I also have a lot of water with me.
After going to the grocery and putting everything in the RV, then I box up my clothes and put them in the RV. It sounds funny, but it’s hard to think in terms of packing for a climate where it is 70-80 degrees in the daytime since it is certainly not that warm where I am now…..well…….it’s hard to think of packing t-shirts, sandals, and jeans! I keep trying to pack sweaters, which I won’t need! Then I will pack sundries, cosmetics, etc.
While I’m doing that, my traveling companion will be finishing up cleaning the RV, hauling the heavy stuff to the RV, and getting the car we are towing ready for the trip. It needed the oil changed, tires checked, and other general maintenance. We have a small car that we drive around town and also use for towing. It’s a Toyota Scion. They are good little cars for both purposes.
Speaking of the car we’re towing, one thing you have to be hyperaware of when going on a RV trip, is weight. Even though you pack what you need, you don’t over pack or travel with heavy objects if you can help it. Why? Gas mileage. Rv’s are gas hogs. Our RV gets about 7 mpg. Yes, that’s what I said. Seven mpg. It never sees a gas station it doesn’t like! This is made worse by towing and any heavy packing you do. It is like any other vehicle. The faster you drive, the more gas you eat up. We drive no faster than about 65 mph and often not that fast.
In the past, we’ve driven as far as 400 miles in a day, but that is really very hard on the driver. We also have a dog on board and that means frequent stops. We’ve decided to drop that down to a maximum of 300 miles per day this trip.
So, dear readers, things are moving right along toward Monday, when we leave. We hope to be out of here early in the morning. More of all the last minute stuff from “Adventures” over the weekend!
This is a very old photo, circa 1970 or before, of a Doberman Pinscher lying on top of a station wagon. My uncle’s station wagon. He was a mailman in an eastern Kentucky county in the U.S. Gertrude was his faithful companion.
You may wonder what she is doing – a dog – lying on top of a car. I always wondered how she got up there! Uncle Hassan drove very very slowly as he made his rounds on his rural mail route with Gertrude lying on top of the car. Made me shiver and tingle to think of her there! The roads in small rural counties weren’t crowded in those days. Uncle Hassan and Gertrude visited the folks at every mail stop. This is the county where my mother grew up and where my grandparents lived at this time. I knew many happy days in this place.
Uncle Hassan acquired another Doberman. A male. He named her Sue. I don’t know if you remember the old Roger Miller song called “A Boy Named Sue.” That’s where he got the name. I didn’t know Sue as well as I knew Gertrude as I had moved away from home by then.
There is much more to this story. Maybe some day I’ll share it. For now, this is the transcript of this photo.
More Getting Ready and Why it’s the Middle of the Night
January 11, 2017: Whew! Today has been errand day for me. Today has been a day of working on the interior of the RV and finishing up some exterior things on the RV for my traveling companion. He had some fittings to grease underneath and installed our TV inside. We use the TV very little, mostly for news and weather, but on the occasional bad weather day, it’s nice to have. Since we are both basketball fans, we like to catch basketball games of our favorite college team. He also started putting away his tools inside in preparation for loading the RV. I think he only has a couple of very small jobs left to do on the outside of the RV. Yay!
We take the TV in and out of the RV. We use it in the house when we aren’t using the RV so it is a little bit of a job to put it back in and set it up. Most RV campgrounds where we stay have cable TV that we hook up to. All the comforts of home! Well, almost.
I have spent the day, the entire day, running errands necessary before we leave on our trip. The things you have to do are legion. You have to deal with your finances. You make sure any and all bills are being paid automatically. I use automatic bill pay. If you are going to be staying in one place long enough, you can have your mail forwarded, but it takes 2-3 weeks to make that happen. If you don’t have that kind of time in one spot, save yourself some worry (and save your credit score!) and just have everything automatically debited. Make sure you’re enrolled in online banking so you can monitor your bank statement.
You have to notify any credit cards that you’re going to use when you’re away that you are going to be traveling. Otherwise, the credit card company will think your card has been stolen and someone is using it out of state. That means they will decline it and cause you embarrassment and inconvenience. Just some tips if you’re traveling that are applicable even if you’re traveling by car.
If you take any medications, get your refills. If your insurance company is like mine, you probably can’t get much extra and you have to get refills wherever you are when you run out. A Giant Pain. At least, try to get your doctor to write your prescriptions for a three-month supply. Some pharmacies will give you what they call “vacation refills” once per year. Since I am an insulin-dependent diabetic, I have to be sure I have enough insulin as I am very careful about controlling my diabetes. I had a bit of a run-in (an understatement) with my doctor today over this, but after calling in reinforcements, we came to an understanding and, I hope, I have all the insulin I need! I live on salads, which reduces my need for insulin, but that is a bit more difficult to do when traveling.
While I was out running errands, I had miscellaneous things to do. Pick up food for the cat, treats for the dog, a new purse (or three) for me, a few shirts, a little gift for a friend I will see along the way, and the list goes on.
Now I am home and I wish I could go to bed! I promised I would tell you why it is the middle of the night, but if you have read the above paragraphs, you already know. It’s been a busy day and I have another busy day tomorrow.
More from here and “Adventures” after the day ends tomorrow…..another busy day. Right now, I wish we were packed and already on the road!
When I was a child, living in Kentucky, sometimes we got some serious snow. As a young adult, there were a few years in the late 1970s and early 1980s where we had good amount of snow. Maybe 2-3 feet. But I have never ever seen snow like that snow in the picture above.
This is a street in Truckee, CA, high above Lake Tahoe, and this picture was taken the day after the blizzard. Notice that the snow is up to the top of the stop sign. The STOP SIGN! You can only see a couple of letters on the stop sign and that is because of drifting.
Do any of you, dear readers, live in Big Snow Country? Tell us about it and show us some pictures!
This is a very old photo, circa 1970 or before, of a Doberman Pinscher lying on top of a station wagon. My uncle’s station wagon. He was a mailman in an eastern Kentucky county in the U.S. Gertrude was his faithful companion.
The Write Scribe 