Posted in Challenges

Impenetrable

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His emotional walls are impenetrable. For 40 years, they have been impenetrable. I don’t know him any better now than I did 40 years ago. At least not emotionally. How is that possible? Is it me? Am I that clueless? Or can someone who you have known for 40 years really still be a complete mystery to you?

Maybe he has no emotions. Sociopaths really don’t have emotions. But surely he is not a sociopaths. To be honest, I’ve often wondered about that. Whether or not he is a sociopath. There are things he would do without remorse if I didn’t tell him no, that those things were wrong.

I feel like he walks around with an impenetrable shell around him, so I also walk around with a shell around me. Not impenetrable. Not at all. But a shell that keeps me from feeling much of anything most of the time. I blame him. He’s taught me how to do this. He’s taught me why to do this. To be impenetrable.

Posted in Challenges, Uncategorized

#SoCS – Jan 14/17

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Pajamas are a wonderful thing. I’ve been exhausted from trying to get ready to travel for a trip where we will be gone for about six weeks. I’ve also been desperately trying to keep up with my writing. Last night, I finally decided that I had to rest. I put on my pajamas and just relaxed, although I have to admit that I made a list of things I have to do this weekend. Writing things. Travel things to get ready to leave in a couple of days. Just putting on my pajamas relaxes me even though I still did some mental work.

Pajamas, a robe, and house slippers. What is better than that? My little dog, Betsy, is so happy when she sees me putting on my pajamas. She knows I’m staying home. Dogs are pretty smart like that. If I’m putting on makeup, other clothes, jewelry, Betsy knows I’m going out which is something she surely does not like.

I get some of the same relaxation effect when I put on leggings, which tend to be my “around the house” clothes. But, they don’t give me as dramatic a relaxation effect as pajamas. What relaxes you? Do you get the same effect as I do from putting on your slippers, robe, and pajamas?

 

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Posted in Blog Series

#4: Adventures in RV Travel

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Getting Close to Leaving!

Two days away! We only have two days left until we take off on our RV trip. I’m excited….and tired. Very tired. I haven’t stopped moving in days. I’m resting tonight. I told a friend, if I didn’t, I’d be in the hospital, not in the RV! I just started my third list…….third in the last three days. One list seems to lead to another. I’m down to last minute things now. One of the most important things on my list for tomorrow (Saturday) is going to the grocery. I won’t completely stock the pantry and refrigerator for the trip. I will stock up for the duration of the drive to our destination in Florida.

It’s easiest on you if you continue with whatever diet you eat at home. For me, that means salad. Lots of salad. For the first part of the drive, I chop up all the salad vegetables, put them in separate bags, and refrigerate them. That will get us through a couple of days. Then I’ll do it all again. Just like at home. This is just an example of what you might want to do if you’re taking such a trip. Simple is better. Search the Web for camping recipes. You’ll find recipes using only a few ingredients. As for me, I limit my carbohydrates. I have more energy if I do as my blood sugar stays lower. Try it! You might find the same thing. I keep lots of tuna, salmon, and boiled eggs on hand. I also have a lot of water with me.

After going to the grocery and putting everything in the RV, then I box up my clothes and put them in the RV. It sounds funny, but it’s hard to think in terms of packing for a climate where it is 70-80 degrees in the daytime since it is certainly not that warm where I am now…..well…….it’s hard to think of packing t-shirts, sandals, and jeans! I keep trying to pack sweaters, which I won’t need! Then I will pack sundries, cosmetics, etc.

While I’m doing that, my traveling companion will be finishing up cleaning the RV, hauling the heavy stuff to the RV, and getting the car we are towing ready for the trip. It needed the oil changed, tires checked, and other general maintenance. We have a small car that we drive around town and also use for towing. It’s a Toyota Scion. They are good little cars for both purposes.

Speaking of the car we’re towing, one thing you have to be hyperaware of when going on a RV trip, is weight. Even though you pack what you need, you don’t over pack or travel with heavy objects if you can help it. Why? Gas mileage. Rv’s are gas hogs. Our RV gets about 7 mpg. Yes, that’s what I said. Seven mpg. It never sees a gas station it doesn’t like! This is made worse by towing and any heavy packing you do. It is like any other vehicle. The faster you drive, the more gas you eat up. We drive no faster than about 65 mph and often not that fast.

In the past, we’ve driven as far as 400 miles in a day, but that is really very hard on the driver. We also have a dog on board and that means frequent stops. We’ve decided to drop that down to a maximum of 300 miles per day this trip.

So, dear readers, things are moving right along toward Monday, when we leave. We hope to be out of here early in the morning. More of all the last minute stuff from “Adventures” over the weekend!

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Posted in Challenges

One Liner Wednesday – Loyalty

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Some people are willing to betray years of friendship just to get a little bit of the spotlight. – Lauren Conrad

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Click here to buy this awesome book on Friendship from Amazon!

Posted in Challenges

Mistaking Power for Love in Relationships

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Have you ever been in a relationship that feels more like a power struggle than a healthy love relationship? There is a lot of that out there. There is nothing at all healthy about such relationships.

A healthy love relationships is, first, one where the partners have mutual respect. That is at least as important as love. After mutual respect comes love, trust, shared values, and true caring for each other. As far as power is concerned, in a healthy relationship, the balance of power usually shifts back and forth between the two partners depending on their situation. It is never overwhelmingly held by one partner. If it is, that constitutes control. A relationship where one partner tries to wield control is not a true love relationship. It is a power struggle.

If a relationship is a power struggle, it cannot possibly be an enjoyable relationship. Love is not power. It is not giving up your power in a relationship to someone else so they will “love” you and stay with you. If your partner requires that, then your relationship is already over. It is just dying a slow death.

If you feel like you require the power in your relationship, you should examine your motives. Partners who require power in a relationship are basically insecure. If you only want the relationship if it is on your terms and you are hanging around to see if you can force the other person to see that your way is the right way, you might as well end the relationship now. This will never be a healthy relationship. You’re forcing your partner to be submissive to you and he/she will always resent that.  You may, quite simply, be with the wrong person.

If you require power in every relationship, then that is another issue. Unless you examine your motives, you will never have a healthy relationship. You need to learn to give and take power in a relationship as the situation demands.

Power usually involves control and manipulation. If you hold the power in a relationship, you usually use control and manipulative tactics to get what you want from your partner. Is this love? Of course not. If you are the partner being manipulated and the one without the power, run, don’t walk, out of the relationship. You may want to say something like, “But, I love him.” I say, “No, you don’t.” You just think you do because he has convinced you of it. It’s part of the power and control tactic. Find yourself a healthy relationship where there is a give and take situation concerning power.

Whether you are a person that requires power in a relationship or the partner who is submissive, don’t spend your life with the wrong person. Find someone you love and with whom you can have a healthy relationship without the issue of power.

Posted in Non-fiction

The Mongrel

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I already had the most wonderful dog, Eliza, a Cardigan Welsh Corgi. She was my baby, my friend, my protector. One Saturday, I went to the pet store to stock up on supplies for Eliza. Saturday is the day the pet store invites the Humane Society in, and some of their rescued dogs and cats, in case any of the patrons want to adopt a pet. If I’m there on a Saturday, of course I have to see the dogs. I am a dog lover.

As I was walking down the aisle of rescued dogs, I came to a large cage. Lying in that cage was a large dog with the saddest eyes I’d ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of sad eyes.  Something about those eyes stopped me in my tracks. I leaned down in front of the cage and there was a big dog, obviously a collie/shepherd mix. Immediately, a name jumped into my head – Murphy. I have no idea where that name came from. I sat there and talked to him for a while. He didn’t really respond. He just looked at me. There was just something about that dog. But, when I got up to leave, he looked up at me and whined. Everything in me told me to take this dog home with me.

I found one of the Humane Society workers and asked them about the dog. He was a stray they had picked up. He was hard to capture, very afraid. He acted like he had been hurt or abused. He was a biter. They were afraid he was vicious and were not sure they should even have him there for that reason. Something in my heart told me he would not be vicious with me or Eliza.

I left the pet store. I had to think. I ran some other errands. The Humane Society worker told me they thought he was an older dog. So did I. There was something about that dog that was pulling at me. He needed a home for his last years on earth. I thought he needed my home and my care. He needed Eliza as his friend. But I had never had a large dog and I lived alone.

I went back to the pet store and set up the adoption process. I was going to adopt him or at least give it a try. I just had a strong feeling it would work out. The Humane Society was going to neuter him. I could pick him up in two days. I bought a big, cushy bed for him, healthy food, a toy and chew bone, and then I went to tell him he was coming home with me. Maybe I was imagining things, but he stood up in his crate and seemed to brighten up.

Two days later, I went to pick up Murphy, his new name. I had also bought a new collar and leash for him. We walked out to the car. He was very good but didn’t understand cars. I taught him to jump in the back of my SUV. We had a 70 miles trip home. Murphy never made a sound.

We got home. I guess the rest is history. He and Eliza got along famously. I had to housebreak Murphy, but it only took one time. He lived in the house with Eliza and I and spent lots of time on his new bed, which he seemed to love. I don’t think he’d ever been in a house. He was the sweetest dog to me and became my protector. He loved my girlfriends, but he hated men. I had to be very cautious when any man was around because he would have attacked them. Obviously, someone had hurt him. During the entire time Murphy lived, that never changed though I tried.

Murphy was healthy. My vet thought he was at least eight years old which is getting on in age for a large dog. Eliza and I loved Murphy for three years. During those years, Murphy developed hip dysplasia. He had the beginnings of it when he came to us. Finally, he couldn’t get up anymore without great pain even though he was on medication. At about 11 years of age, I had to have Murphy sent to the Rainbow Bridge, but I was gratified. His last three years had been wonderful. It was apparent he never forgot the first eight years of his life, but I could always tell he was so appreciative of his last three years.

I loved that big dog. He loved hugs so much. Was Murphy a mongrel? Not in any negative connotation. He was a mixed breed but he was my Murphy and one of the most wonderful dogs I’ve ever had.

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Click to purchase at amazon.com

Posted in Challenges

JustJotJanuary Blog Challenge

Linda G. Hill of Life in Progress is offering the JustJotJanuary Blog Challenge this month. I was just the Guest Host for two days and it was great fun. To all the bloggers out there, check it out! You can join at any time and you can find the rules at the above link.

You’ll meet a lot of new, very nice bloggers and stretch your writing skills!

 

Posted in Challenges

Tangible

The snow is tangible. You can touch it. It’s cold and feels somewhat crystalline. The ocean is tangible. You can touch the water. It can be either warm or cold depending on the time of the year and the ocean you choose. Snow is never warm. Which do you find most enjoyable?

The atmosphere around both the snow and sea is intangible. Around the snow, the atmosphere has to be cold, by definition, or else the snow would melt. The atmosphere around the sea may be cold or warm, just like the sea. Does the temperature of the atmosphere determine the temperature of the sea or vice-versa? The humidity tends to be low when cold snow is on the ground. Around the sea, humidity tends to be higher but not always high. Both the temperature and humidity are intangible.

Which do you enjoy? The tangibility of the snow? Or the sea? I know the answer for me!

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Posted in Challenges

One-Liner Wednesday

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“Most everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories.”
― Haruki Murakami, A Wild Sheep Chase